What do I do now?

"Whether or not we admit it to ourselves, we are all haunted by a truly awful sense of impermanence."
- Tennessee Williams

5:07 on the clock.
Inescapable,
Pervasive
Crushing
Lip-biting
tear-wrenching
uncontrollable
Loneliness.

Desire
To see. To destroy.
To touch. To wreck.
Taste. Bite.
Talk. Kill.
Hear. Die.

Why does it matter?
Nobody I can tell.
The inadequacy, it's
a continual
downward spiral.

It pushes up
only so
It can pull down again

Irony.
When you're there
I never am
I've stopped looking out of that window.
20 million people in this city
Yet no chance, no providence
no kismet
that I meet you.

I can't help
this teeth-clenching
tearful
non-verbal
Loneliness.

5.45
On my way home
Maybe I should
find it first.